Sometimes we have a habit that is really hard to break in tai chi (or life). We try to solve it this way or that, but after a while, it creeps back into our form. Here we are again: No Progress!
There may be a way to help solve the problem from a different direction. Instead of jumping at the first suggestion or solution, don’t change what you are doing. Instead, simply examine it. See it exactly as it is. Get clear on the problem. Let the problem guide you. Understand what you are trying to do by what you are doing, even though it is not correct. No doubt your efforts are trying to attain some goal. Investigate that goal. Allow it to function as it is, even though it is incorrect. Then look closely to discover what problem your habit is trying to solve.
I believe it was Albert Einstein who said that if he had an hour to solve a problem, he would spend 59 minutes defining the problem.
It was helpful to me to shift my practice into observe mode even when I wasn’t trying to correct a habit. Just doing the form from the perspective of what is already happening can be very very helpful. It’s as if the whole form is a question: What’s this? What’s this? What’s going on now? You will see more and you are relieved of the effort of “trying” and “fixing”.
I know a very good tai chi student who has the habit of “doing it slowly” (DIS). We are encouraged to move through the form slowly, even very slowly at times. But instead of the form unfolding in a slow way (externally), he is taking control of the whole body and going in “slow motion”. Tai chi is not about going in slow motion at all. It’s about the chi unfolding without any impediments. The movement is fulfilling itself naturally and the joints are folding and unfolding naturally. The body is filling and emptying naturally. We can do this fast or slow, but mostly we do it slowly in order to completely embody that organic response. We get inside the movement and let it pull us along. It’s a deeply relaxing and oddly satisfying way to move the body.
Moving slowly is not DIS. DIS is more like gripping yourself from the outside and making sure that you are going at a slow speed. You are holding yourself back to make sure that a sense of slowness is apparent to yourself. The concept of “slow” isn’t a tai chi principle, though spectators would most likely describe it as “slow”. From the inside, it is more like dribbling a basketball down the court without the effort. Relax, rebound, relax, rebound, relax, rebound.
Why DIS? DIS could be practicing the form to insure that every nook and cranny is being executed correctly. This is “correction mode”, but not a tai chi mode. It is fine to work on details in this manner, but not when you are practicing the form for real. Correction time is correction time; form time is form time.
To stop DIS, there needs to be a change in the goal of each moment in the form. One example would be to follow the flow of movement – get out of the way and allow it to happen. Another goal might be to relax at key moments to find the rebound of that relaxation and follow that rebound. Another goal may be to understand and feel the container that is your body, and see how it fills and empties as you move through the postures. These goals would not get in the way of the natural flow of tai chi. Ultimately, you can disband with ANY goal and just “be” as you move through the form.
So go ahead. Let your habit be there and take a close look. “I am now in DIS mode. What is that like? What am I trying to do here? What goal does this serve? Why am I moving in this manner? What goal is DIS serving?” Let it be and don’t fix it. This could lead to the awareness of what it is you are actually doing, why this is happening and what you need in order to change. In essence you would be letting go of one goal and discovering another goal to replace it.
I understand that some readers may react to having ANY goal at all. Having no goal at all is a good goal to have. This is the Buddha solution: you are doing a good form because you are enlightened. But what if you are NOT the Buddha and you are not enlightened? Should you quit tai chi and go live on a mountaintop for 20 years? Frankly, I view the Buddhaphiles to be involved in a different sort of trap that also impedes progress. The practice becomes “precious” and lacks the flesh and blood that makes it a really living experience. (Full disclosure, I am a Buddhist.)
You have to start somewhere and baby steps can help. Goals are like the trainer wheels kids use in learning to balance when riding a bike. Once you have a sense of that balance, you can remove the training wheels. I see no harm in this, but don’t confuse those training wheels with true balance. Mostly, we get rid of those training wheels as soon as we can! A goal is a crutch. Crutches help as long as you need them. Once you can walk, you can toss that crutch away.
Join me in a few baby steps and take a close look!
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