Tai Chi Chuan is a Vertical, Not Horizontal, Vector

Tai Chi Chuan is a vertical, not horizontal, vector.

I’ve been chewing on a thought for some time, a “life at its core” kind of thought. Ready to join me?

I love vectors, real or imagined, and I see life as having many vectors. There is the career vector, the family vector, the love vector, the health vector (for some), the money vector, the birth vector, the dying vector and no doubt many others.

Fundamentally, however, I see to two primary vectors: the horizontal vector and the vertical vector.

The horizontal vector is time based and looks forward or looks back. You make plans and execute them. You measure progress or no progress. It is like walking down the street with a goal in mind as to where you need/want to go to next. Even if that goal is to just get out of the house and breathe some fresh air, there is a goal here, a beginning-middle-end, and onto the next vector that moves you forward into the next plan, goal, or desired situation.

Then there is the vertical vector. You don’t really move at all and it is not time based. You just be and expand in all directions. This includes, of course, an up and down direction and an in and out direction. But because you are not moving forward or sideways, primarily it is up and down, as if reaching into heaven and digging into earth. This is ultimately a “being” experience. Your “being” can be bigger or smaller, exclusive in inclusive. But it is not concerned with progress, progression, getting something or getting somewhere, landing somewhere, achieving something or avoiding something, or plans to achieve or avoid. It is the vector that takes a break from time itself. This vector forgets time. This vector likes to be where it is. I am more and more convinced that the vertical vector is the real link to happiness.

The horizontal and vertical vectors are not mutually separate. They do have a relation to each other and affect each other. The more developed the vertical vector, the more smoothly the horizontal vector will function. The better you balance all the issues that surround the horizontal vector, or follow that vector with a proper sense of pace, the more likely you are to have time and space to sit with and live through the vertical vector. To be working with your goals is a horizontal vector, to hold your baby and stare into his/her eyes is a vertical vector.

Here comes tai chi chuan. Horizontally, you may be concerned with progress in your tai chi. But the actual experience of tai chi with its physical emphasis on upright posture and relaxing and sinking into the ground clearly demonstrates its verticality. Oddly, to focus on progress or success in tai chi only gets you so far in your development because at its root, tai chi is “non-doing”. That is its essential puzzle: a non-doing that leads to the fulfillment of some action (a form, for example, that does have a beginning-middle-end.)

If you are in a hurry to get it, most likely what you have skipped is any sense of relaxing and sinking into the ground. These are the very elements that create movement in tai chi. Without them you are merely practicing a dance based on your old method of horizontal doing. Somehow, you have to leave that behind, at least for a short while and experience something else. That something else is not related to getting and doing.

Then, surprise! You have a new tool that morphs into a new way to deal with life’s stresses and pressures. Being. This takes time and a willingness to not go forward or look back, but to just be here, right here, really here, the here that is really NOW. This is tai chi as meditation. And like any real meditation, the “goal” is not to get more of something, but to “be” all of what you are and to inhabit “now” more fully. It is a commitment to the fullness of your spirit as it joins the rest of the world, not from a perspective of action (soldiers marching in step), but from the perspective of connection (swimming together in the ocean).

When you are really practicing tai chi as a vertical vector, you slow down to the point where just being still is a pleasure.

I recall a time when only the horizontal aspect of the form – getting it done, getting through it, getting past certain postures that seemed to be landmarks in my mind – was what I experienced. I even thought that it was taking too long and I should have already finished the current posture. “Why haven’t I gotten to the next posture by now, this is taking too long!” I would say to myself, adding an unnecessary layer of tension.

But then it shifted and getting it done for some reason disappeared. Now the form seems to go by much faster, even though I still practice it rather slowly. I have not added speed to the equation; I have removed that sense of “getting it done for the day.” It now gets “done” by merely starting it. After that point, the challenges and pleasure of the moments within the form have my attention. It doesn’t matter if I finish it or not. Getting to the end is not the point, but being in it is the point. And when I do get to the end, I want to work on some piece that grabbed my attention during practice. I enjoy being here and continuing to work on the challenges tai chi presents.

But why? I think it has to do with the vertical vector, the being within it, the innate pleasure of being here and now. Like a baby that enjoys splashing water just for the sake of splashing water, to see water, to feel water, to experience water, to be with water, to BE water. It seems that this is where we start in life and that we are hard wired to keep in touch with just that. If you lose that vertical vector, life might become one dimensional and very dry.

While other activities can give you the same, tai chi is a great way to work with this because of its health benefits, its philosophical/psychological aspects, the way it forges togetherness with others, and of course tai chi is a fascinating martial art. You get so much for the price of one. The downside? Like anything worth doing, it takes time, commitment and thoughtful attention.

My guess is a fully realized life has vectors in all directions. I haven’t arrived there yet, but I do believe it is waiting for me to discover.