Tai Chi Chuan – A TCC State of Mind

Tai Chi Chuan – A TCC State of Mind

Push hands is a very revealing experience. We tend to fall into several traps and I suspect these are the same traps that we encounter in life.

Trap one: They are doing this wrong! Here we criticize what the other is doing without taking a good hard look at what we are doing.

Trap two: I’m here to help you. Thus, we give our sage advice at every turn. Sages abound in tai chi because it feels so good to think what we have to offer is so right, so correct, so good. (This is MY favorite trap!)

Trap three: I am helpless and can’t do a thing. That may be true, but to engage in push hands from that angle usually leads to trap one and two down the road.

Trap four: That’s good that’s good that’s good. Here we flatter our partner and compliment them, even if you are being so cooperative that a bum on the street would be just as skilled. Here we are silently being superior. After all, we are the judge of what is good. So we must know.

Trap five: Finding the tiniest of the tiny flaw in your partner. I am a microscope. I will find SOMETHING to criticize regardless of the good things that the partner may be executing.

There must be others. I wonder if my ultimate trap is simply something I don’t want to see or acknowledge. Hard to say. I know I really want to be on top of this thing we call push hands. But let’s face it, push hands is VAST.

Given these tendencies, how can we engage in practice that avoids these traps?

For one, notice your tendency and try to stop it. Good luck! (Why do you think they call it a “trap”?)

Two, give your partner 5 minutes of free zone time to just try things. Here you are not allowed to coach, criticize, comment, judge. Here you don’t have an opinion. They need time to simply feel things. You need time to simply feel things.

If your partner gives you some free zone time, you might be taking a good close look at what is going on without the judgment. See what you feel is good about what you did. See where you think you need to develop in what you just did.

Then share with your partner your own observations. Give a few more tries and see if they concur with your observation.

What I’m advocating here is that we sometimes practice with each other as witnesses to the process, not so much as critics (towards them or towards yourself) or coaches.

I can’t tell you how many times I’m trying to do something different and before I’ve gone halfway with my experiment my partner has a comment to make. I needed 10 tries, but he/she comments halfway into my first attempt.

The other experience I have is when I’m trying to explain something I think may be true, but I know I can’t do it yet. I’m experimenting or even demonstrating, knowing that before I do it, I won’t truly succeed. Here the partner quickly jumps in and tells me that they didn’t see or feel the very thing I just noted that I can’t really do. It seems ridiculous to me, but this is what happens. Even more amusing is that though THEY can’t do this either, they have an alternate plan to discuss.

I would advocate giving each other some time to fail with impunity. That’s where we mostly begin anyway. Let the critic take a break. Let the witness enjoy.

Push hands is far too messy a process to be saddled with perfection. You have to start with where you are, with simple ideas, with a simple practice. At some point you can take out the microscope and begin to untangle knots. Yes, your partner’s observations here will be extremely helpful, crucial in fact.

But we need to take care to note that we are also always beginners at some level, and we all need time to just experiment. The next phase is always just beyond our grasp, and yet grasping for it will defeat you. Not trying also goes nowhere. Letting play happen is extremely important. Do kids at play criticize each other relentlessly?

“Have no fear of perfection, you'll never reach it.” Salvador Dali

Or to alter that a bit, if you don’t find perfection, know it doesn’t exist. Have fun with the journey. You will never be perfect. Your partner will never be perfect.

Actor Dustin Hoffman once stated that we are all deeply flawed. I tend to agree. Like death, we really don’t want to go there. Yet here we are looking for perfection, either in ourselves or others. What to do?

Let your partner (and you) experiment. Free imperfect exploration. If they want feedback, you might (or you might not) give it to them. Practice the free zone practice. You may even find relief within the play!