Tai Chi Chuan - Perfect is the Enemy of Good

Tai Chi Chuan – Perfect is the Enemy of Good

I have a Push-hands partner who is very good for my development in a certain way.  But in another way, he embodies what I would call the worst way to work with any partner. 

The other day, he gave me three “bad” pushes.  He then tells me that this is what I was doing to him. 

What he showed me is what he THINKS I was doing.

And what was I doing?  I was most likely working on something in the push that grabs my attention.  But here it gets muddy.  This doesn’t mean the push itself was all that good.  I don’t have a push I am truly proud of yet so if I am practicing, I will try something to see how it feels.  Once in a while, it feels better than others. 

If asked, I might say I am working with X.  Maybe X is working well, maybe not.  But that in no way says that the entire push was in working order.  I’m trying to get at something specific.  I am PRACTISING.  And to me, practice is a time to experiment.  I’m not so big on winning or being the best or proving my martial fighting might.  Nice if you get there, but even if you do, in my world you should STILL keep experimenting.   This is something my teacher taught to me.  Maggie Newman was always on the hunt for something new, something vital.  It was exciting!

And how can you experiment if your partner believes that ONLY perfect pushes demonstrate progress?  This kills the creative process!

I have little doubt that his imitation did NOT replicate what I was doing.  To take the upper hand in this way is pointless.  I didn’t even comment.  I just let it go and didn’t pay much attention to it. 

A good partner could investigate. He’d ask what are you trying to work with when delivering these pushes?  Then we have a real discussion.  Part of what I was doing may be in fact VERY GOOD, but putting my attention on one thing in no way guarantees that the whole operation is flawless.  Or soft.   Not by a long shot.  In this case, the push was judged and dismissed – It wasn’t perfect!

When I give an observation, I usually point out what it is I think I am seeing and then I offer what I think is a solution.  But it is only my thought.  I could be wrong.  My partner can agree or disagree or offer up what he was trying to accomplish.  Now we have a discussion.  Now we might learn something.  You can’t text this!

If you plan to comment on the other, you had best have a language that can express it.  You need to be clear.  It needs to be meaningful and shouldn’t rely on old buzz words, or something you read in a book.  Be sure you have a clear SOMETHING to offer.  When it’s truly yours, you will have your words to express it.

I really enjoyed a moment in class the other day when I put out an idea, and a student rephrased it.  The new phrase had a wonderful nuance that moved the concept forward.  It was fuller than mine!

If someone demonstrates my “bad” push, they tell me that not only is my push bad, but it deserved retaliation. 

I’ve stated this before: to convince yourself of a fantasy that you yourself cannot implement is a fool’s errand.  Those that have good pushes offer great observations.  Or they just give you a good push and that is something of great value.  Those that don’t have a push – they retaliate, or recite stale words.  

Don’t show them their error or retaliate; ask what them what they are working on.  They may have something of value to offer, even if the execution is not perfect.  Perhaps the idea is great, but it wasn’t done accurately.  Perhaps something else gets in the way of a valid idea.  This is an art form – there are infinite nuances to work with.

For those that just like to practice without discussion, I’ve no argument.  For most, real feedback is gold.

I have long felt OK about working on something small, knowing my full push is deficient.  One piece of the puzzle is not enough.  But it may be the best I can do and it may be worth the attention.  And that may be satisfying.

Perfect is the enemy of Good.  That phrase has new meaning to me.