PLEASE NOTE: I am going ahead with posting this one despite some hesitation. It is hard to find the right language to describe a complex interaction when words are being used to help each other. I may update this one from time to time. In addition, each verbal exchange has a context. There are infinite contexts. Clearly I’m choosing a context here but not explaining it. Hence the ambiguity of language, intention, personality, etc. cannot be elaborated in great detail.
Tom Daly, 6/24/11.
Tai Chi Chuan –The Push-Hands Dialogue
Again, because I believe this is very important, I want to explore what we say to each other when we are working on push hands. (First things first: I’m assuming you and your partner are comfortable with exchanging views. I am assuming you want to help each other. I am assuming you want feedback, at least some of the time. This is not always the case. Some simply like to experience whatever comes their way and work from there. I think that’s also a great way to work on push-hands.)
Which of the following statements is not helpful and may be counterproductive?
a) You didn’t take my force into the ground.
b) You pulled your arm away from your body while neutralizing.
c) You are using your arm to protect yourself and block me.
d) You were twisting in the torso.
e) Your push is too hard.
Have your answer? (If you are confused about how to approach this, try my blogs on Critique, or Fact vs. Judgment.)
Let me elaborate on these statements:
a) This is a specific item that needs to happen in creating a return (yield-return) to the force received. An observable fact.
b) Your arm was not moved by your body, but separated from the body and did its own thing. Another observable fact.
c) The arm is stiff and protective, instead of inviting and listening. Therefore, it stops me from coming towards you. We don’t block in tai chi. We invite them in. A fact.
d) We want the torso full and aligned at all times. A turn in the hip joint is where rotation comes from. Twisting the torso is adding some sort of tension in the torso. We push tension. A fact.
e) This describes your subjective experience. Often there is a hidden linkage of “hard” and “bad” fused together here. The statement is a value based assessment (hard=bad) of my subjective experience (the “hardness” of your push.) An unspoken judgment goes into how you feel about this (good, bad) from how you experience it (soft, hard). If this is what I want from my partner, fair enough. But in general, I think this is a serious mistake. (At face value, a “hard” push is the result of some other error. Oddly, I could be hard, but you may not experience it that way. )
Helpful push-hands discussion, your verbal communication, is not music appreciation where opinions reign supreme – where what you hear is your experience and sharing your feeling is the point of the statement.
If you are looking for pushes that feel good to you, you may be in the wrong arena. Most of us have to start somewhere and generally it takes a long time to learn how to do a push without force.
Yes, that push may have felt hard. Yes, in fact it may have been hard. I’m noting that this statement doesn’t help anyone. I learn that your experience of my push felt hard to you. This may not be the case with someone else.
That “hard push”. It is almost impossible to actually measure this because if you feel hard to me, I am hard to you. So who is “hard” and who is being “bad”? I’ve heard it said that when students complained to Professor Cheng Man’ching, “his push was too hard”, Professor would reply it takes TWO to be hard!
“Your push is too hard” might set up a relationship that you don’t want to create between you and your partner. If I make such a statement, by inference, I am superior. Besides the power of being the Judge, it also assumes I know a “soft” push from a “hard” one in my own body. Without any proof, I am saying I understand a hard push vs. a soft push.
No, you say, you have felt a good soft push from someone else and therefore you know the difference ‘tween soft and hard in pushes. But your second hand experience is not enough. It does not confer on you judging rights. You are an expert when you can do a soft push and you can explain it to someone else.
Here is my favorite passive aggressive judgmental statement – a hidden “you are hard” statement. Your partner tells you “When Master Cho-Chi pushed me, I didn’t feel anything. I was just flying.” True or false, you may as well tell me Bill Gates is a billionaire. Really what they are saying is “Your push doesn’t compare to a perfect push. Your push is hard, or bad, or not very good, or…. You don’t feel like Master Cho-Chi.” Now, is this helpful?
Again, if you experience that push as hard, you had to be harder in resisting it. A more honest statement would be, “I must be VERY hard in comparison to your push. If you are hard, I must be harder.” That, of course, would be a self judgment. Even this statement is not so helpful because again you are assessing something so personal and subjective that it won’t help you progress your skill. But at least it puts the onus on you and not on them.
To embrace your experience of helplessness by a hard push is very frustrating. The experience may mean that this push frightens me, or frustrates me because my skill is too small to work with it, or I don’t like to “lose”, or simply feels uncomfortable for whatever reason.
Let’s face it, if you could neutralize that hard push, you would not say “Your push is too hard!” More likely you would laugh with delight and say, “Do that AGAIN.” You would want to continue practicing your wonderful neutralization. And those hard pushes wouldn’t feel hard to you at all because you did not offer any resistance. You didn’t get in the way. You let them in. Your hard partner would then be forced to ask, “How is it that I can’t seem to get you?”
To say “Your push is too hard” is really saying STOP THAT! Who, besides you, does that help? In fact, it doesn’t even really help you.
True, the pusher may not be aware of the strength being used to push. But your judgment doesn’t give the pusher a clue as to what to do next. “Be more soft”? How much “more soft”? “Be totally soft”? How does soft pushing do the job in the first place? What is needed to accomplish that feat?
It’s very complex. If the words “be more soft” were really helpful, everyone could do a good push. But most of us can’t. For most of us, being “more soft” is an empty gesture. It seems to me that a good push, while it is soft, has many elements that create that sensation of softness. The words hard and soft do not specify what is needed to achieve the effect of being soft. Some partners, in an attempt to be soft, don’t push at all when they push. There is no there THERE.
“Soft” or “not using force” is the sum total of many aspects that happen simultaneously to create a push that does not rely on force. It relies on good timing, direction, listening, following, no intention to push, sticking and whole body movement connected to and into the ground and connected to the partner. When I hear the suggestion “be more soft”, it reminds me of those who suggest to some sad person to “be more happy.” Great idea. Like, has that ever helped anyone?
To add nuance to that last paragraph, yes, you want the total experience of your push to be more “soft”. That is a big goal. We need to embrace that goal, but at the same time, it is not a tool for criticism of the other. It’s far too vague, too loaded with judgment, and complex.
So what do you do if you can’t deal with that force? A few options are: simply continue to get pushed, but focus on the feeling in your body (and soul), not their arms/hands.
Or, tell your partner you simply don’t have the skill to deal with that (perceived) force and ask if we can take the game down a notch.
Or, another way is to ask the partner to explain what they are feeling when they push you. This may tell you what you need to work on to alleviate their pressure and to improve your neutralization.
Or, ask the partner what they are doing when they are pushing you.
Or simply excuse yourself from the game. Walking away can be the best option at times.
The hardest lesson in push hands is that what they do is not the point. It is your reaction or action to what they do that is the point. And what you do is in the realm of your choices. Are they limited? We study push-hands, among other reasons, to give ourselves more choices.
Please, don’t tell them their push is too hard, or that it didn’t feel good. Find something else to say that’s helpful and specific, or just be quiet.
Sunday, May 30, 2010
Friday, May 28, 2010
Tai Chi Chuan - Process, Not Product!
Tai Chi Chuan – Process, Not Product!
I sadly saw a good beginning student quit tai chi class. Something wasn’t working out for her despite her expressions of appreciation for the class. One particular note was that she didn’t want to spend two years to learn it.
Actually, we can take even three years to learn it. This is not because the moves are so difficult but because true relaxation and the functionality that emerges is so hard to understand. Even after three years most students do not have that. Only the inkling of that. It takes that long to begin to see what might be there if you keep at it. Generally Americans do not want that type of discipline. We are in a rush.
I began in 1982 and I want to quit tai chi every three months. My fantasy is that by finally getting it, I will feel a victory and have something in my hand that I can show for my effort. But that is the wrong road to take because tai chi is about the process of going through movements in a relaxed manner and then applying them to a situation of combat. OK, we hardly make it combat at all in the beginning, but that is generally the end game. The form itself is a template for relaxed movement and the discovery of how relaxation itself facilitates movement. This is a process.
This notion of practicing a process, not fixing a product, is extremely hard to involve yourself in, understand, and want to continue. My own desire for product inhibits my growth. To be so involved in process often feels like something I need to get past, so that the result of all this process is a product fully formed and NOW I can practice this product that gives me X, Y and Z.
But in fact, it is the process that gives me X, Y and Z. Oops!
Just to illustrate how much this gets in my way, I often begin my own practice sessions with some little isolated tai chi moves that focus on some small aspect that I’ve identified as worth accomplishing. Then I go ahead and do the form. But during this transition to actually doing, and accepting, the form, I begin to internally fidget. I hesitate. I get frightened. I don’t want my own product to disappoint me. I might go get something to eat or start to read something to give me a few more moments of avoidance. I’ve had this feeling for years.
Once I actually begin to do the form, the resistance goes and the fascination with all those tiny and often satisfying moments begins to unfold. Of course there are also disappointing moments in the form for me. Some parts have not evolved to where I want them to be, and I may simply miss other moments and do them in a less than satisfactory way on any given day. But in the middle of it, there is enjoyment. Whatever I have mastered in my process takes over and I’m practicing process.
In that sense, you never really learn the form. You learn process.
A while back, I was having a terrible time at work. The department was not unified, the management hostile, old alliances were reinforced and unity amongst the group was an unobtainable goal. There was change in the air, and abrupt expectations were made for which you were held responsible. The past was not to be brought up. We were on a new track and if that track was linked to the past, the past was not a subject for re-examination. Only “what is”, as if it came from some sort of existential vacuum, was cut up and dissected. The why’s and the wherefore’s were expendable, giving all us an odd sensation of being out on some limb of a tree that had no tree trunk. We were accountable for the current situation without any relational cause with the past. There was no ground beneath our feet, no one to work through all the myriad issues so that working order could be achieved. I sort of think that was the point on the part of those in charge. The ONLY thing one could lean into was “process”. To just being present and attentive as the waves and wind moved you about. Process was the ONLY key in this situation. It doesn’t guarantee success, but it is one tool you always have access to.
So I treasure this place where the whole point of the exercise is process and not some final product. That should be freeing. Can I call this a luxury of sorts?
Incidentally, I’ve seen some students “finish” the form and, at least in their eyes, think they have something and then quit class. They are no longer involved in process. I can’t imagine why anyone would want to practice tai chi after that.
One thing that keeps me going is curiosity. When I plateau in progress and each day starts to feel like the day before and my sense of improving my product is being thwarted, I really want to quit. But I am too curious to see what will happen next. And it always changes after that. Revealing more process.
Although I can’t say for sure, I would guess that even Professor Cheng had more he wanted to learn in the form -- and most regarded him as an unqualified master.
If you keep at it with openness and a desire to see more, it will change. And the endlessly fascinating process of learning process kicks in.
For me, that’s a key experience in tai chi.
I sadly saw a good beginning student quit tai chi class. Something wasn’t working out for her despite her expressions of appreciation for the class. One particular note was that she didn’t want to spend two years to learn it.
Actually, we can take even three years to learn it. This is not because the moves are so difficult but because true relaxation and the functionality that emerges is so hard to understand. Even after three years most students do not have that. Only the inkling of that. It takes that long to begin to see what might be there if you keep at it. Generally Americans do not want that type of discipline. We are in a rush.
I began in 1982 and I want to quit tai chi every three months. My fantasy is that by finally getting it, I will feel a victory and have something in my hand that I can show for my effort. But that is the wrong road to take because tai chi is about the process of going through movements in a relaxed manner and then applying them to a situation of combat. OK, we hardly make it combat at all in the beginning, but that is generally the end game. The form itself is a template for relaxed movement and the discovery of how relaxation itself facilitates movement. This is a process.
This notion of practicing a process, not fixing a product, is extremely hard to involve yourself in, understand, and want to continue. My own desire for product inhibits my growth. To be so involved in process often feels like something I need to get past, so that the result of all this process is a product fully formed and NOW I can practice this product that gives me X, Y and Z.
But in fact, it is the process that gives me X, Y and Z. Oops!
Just to illustrate how much this gets in my way, I often begin my own practice sessions with some little isolated tai chi moves that focus on some small aspect that I’ve identified as worth accomplishing. Then I go ahead and do the form. But during this transition to actually doing, and accepting, the form, I begin to internally fidget. I hesitate. I get frightened. I don’t want my own product to disappoint me. I might go get something to eat or start to read something to give me a few more moments of avoidance. I’ve had this feeling for years.
Once I actually begin to do the form, the resistance goes and the fascination with all those tiny and often satisfying moments begins to unfold. Of course there are also disappointing moments in the form for me. Some parts have not evolved to where I want them to be, and I may simply miss other moments and do them in a less than satisfactory way on any given day. But in the middle of it, there is enjoyment. Whatever I have mastered in my process takes over and I’m practicing process.
In that sense, you never really learn the form. You learn process.
A while back, I was having a terrible time at work. The department was not unified, the management hostile, old alliances were reinforced and unity amongst the group was an unobtainable goal. There was change in the air, and abrupt expectations were made for which you were held responsible. The past was not to be brought up. We were on a new track and if that track was linked to the past, the past was not a subject for re-examination. Only “what is”, as if it came from some sort of existential vacuum, was cut up and dissected. The why’s and the wherefore’s were expendable, giving all us an odd sensation of being out on some limb of a tree that had no tree trunk. We were accountable for the current situation without any relational cause with the past. There was no ground beneath our feet, no one to work through all the myriad issues so that working order could be achieved. I sort of think that was the point on the part of those in charge. The ONLY thing one could lean into was “process”. To just being present and attentive as the waves and wind moved you about. Process was the ONLY key in this situation. It doesn’t guarantee success, but it is one tool you always have access to.
So I treasure this place where the whole point of the exercise is process and not some final product. That should be freeing. Can I call this a luxury of sorts?
Incidentally, I’ve seen some students “finish” the form and, at least in their eyes, think they have something and then quit class. They are no longer involved in process. I can’t imagine why anyone would want to practice tai chi after that.
One thing that keeps me going is curiosity. When I plateau in progress and each day starts to feel like the day before and my sense of improving my product is being thwarted, I really want to quit. But I am too curious to see what will happen next. And it always changes after that. Revealing more process.
Although I can’t say for sure, I would guess that even Professor Cheng had more he wanted to learn in the form -- and most regarded him as an unqualified master.
If you keep at it with openness and a desire to see more, it will change. And the endlessly fascinating process of learning process kicks in.
For me, that’s a key experience in tai chi.
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Tai Chi Chuan - You Have to be Carefully Taught
Tai Chi Chuan –You Have to be Carefully Taught
One of the interesting things that goes on when you learn tai chi is that you are learning more than just a form. You also learn How To Learn the form.
Who we are is what we bring to tai chi. So who we are is what comes out in tai chi, at least initially. We tend to think tai chi is a collection of some type of artful movements. So we stiffly imitate what we see.
Oh, yes, then we hear the word relax.
Oh, but then we hear a bit more about a Center.
Next comes connection to ground and air, heaven and earth.
Then comes rooting. Then internal balance.
After comes listening and sticking and following and….
Behind all of this is an essential ingredient which is HOW to learn. Tai chi is not what we think it is, and we need a new way to approach it. I see in my own teaching how often I have to go back to the same essential suggestion with each student. They are approaching their understanding of what I am saying with tools that they already have. Tai chi requires new tools. Or changing the tools you have.
This was true for me as well. I would get the same correction again and again and again in a variety of ways. It never really occurred to me that in order to grasp the new information, I needed a new way to absorb it. So I didn’t absorb it, I just went back to the old me and the old ways while imitating the movements as I saw them. I wasted a lot of time this way.
If I were to start over, I would give a much larger part of my attention on how to absorb the information and look for a new way to learn. This may slow down the learning at first. It might feel like more time spent on something that feels peripheral to the main event. But it is actually taking time to find the key to discover what tai chi is all about.
I didn’t know that “how I approach anything is how I approach everything”. This can be a huge stumbling block when it comes to tai chi. It is also something that frustrates many students – consciously or unconsciously – and why so many quit tai chi before they ever get it to bloom. Whatever it is they wanted to get doesn’t come. Tai chi then feels like everything else, so why bother?
One reason we need a new way – and this will vary for each individual – is that tai chi itself is a new way of existence. The old you has limited access to a new way of existence. It’s that simple and that complex. It helps to take a moment and look at how you normally learn what you learn.
How fast do you feel you need to master this before you lose interest? Are you comfortable with not knowing? Do you feel your way into situations or think your way into situations? Do you take notes? Does military-like repetition feel best to you? Do you like to throw out all the rules and see what comes? Does sort of making yourself dead to discovery feel comforting? Are you afraid of actually learning something new? What holds you back from new experience or knowledge? Is your way the best way? Does discipline feel good to you or restraining to you? Can you take one step back to go two steps forward? Do you always need to be going straight forward?
All of these have value. All of these can be impediments.
What might you change? What would feel appropriate to an experiential exercise that offers a new way to inhabit your own skin? What needs to happen so that you do hear what your teacher is telling you?
I practice push hands with one individual from time to time and I have to note that he rarely makes any improvement. The conversation often comes down to how bad his push is and how bad my push is and how bad everyone’s push is and no one can really push well and once you have felt the push of some master you have to face the fact that we just can’t do it and to this day it is still a mystery and what the master has we simply don’t understand or don’t do....
Well now!
I don’t see how anyone can progress with this difficult process with such an elephant on their backs. The judgment and comparison is literally crippling. It robs him (and me) of any way of working on this challenging puzzle. His learning has to include learning to stop with the comparisons and judgment. This is how he approaches all of life: How you do anything is how you do everything. A result of all this is that he hasn’t made much progress. It’s the all or nothing approach to push hands. You either have it, or you don’t.
I spoke with a student of perhaps two years. A dancer, she had felt for some time that she hadn’t been getting much out of tai chi. Then she changed. A dancer likes technique and precision, preparing for performance with the ultimate purpose of being viewed by others. She decided to approach tai chi class without any goals and without any expectation. The result? She has found class to be totally exciting and she loves it. Tai chi is mostly about process, not result. It helps to align your learning mind in the direction of discovery.
To see ourselves from a distance with real honesty is a big task. It’s not a natural thing for us to do. We have to separate from ourselves and look with a microscope or a telescope to gain a different perspective on the issue. When is the last time you did this? Mostly we look out at the world through our rose colored glasses. It’s an “in-out” view with our conditioning getting in the way. Oddly, we have the capability to do the opposite which is what I’m suggesting. I don’t think we can live our lives from the “out-in” view, but we can stop for a moment here and there and see what we might see.
A new view could be a jolt of lightening. In fact, in addition to taking on a sort of universal distant (possibly objective) view of yourself, it may be helpful to take on a view of yourself from the perspective of someone else. That is, how does X, Y, or Z view me from their perspective? Take on their viewpoint, their conditioning, their assumptions and look at you as if you are them. See how they see. See what they see.
You might learn something new.
One of the interesting things that goes on when you learn tai chi is that you are learning more than just a form. You also learn How To Learn the form.
Who we are is what we bring to tai chi. So who we are is what comes out in tai chi, at least initially. We tend to think tai chi is a collection of some type of artful movements. So we stiffly imitate what we see.
Oh, yes, then we hear the word relax.
Oh, but then we hear a bit more about a Center.
Next comes connection to ground and air, heaven and earth.
Then comes rooting. Then internal balance.
After comes listening and sticking and following and….
Behind all of this is an essential ingredient which is HOW to learn. Tai chi is not what we think it is, and we need a new way to approach it. I see in my own teaching how often I have to go back to the same essential suggestion with each student. They are approaching their understanding of what I am saying with tools that they already have. Tai chi requires new tools. Or changing the tools you have.
This was true for me as well. I would get the same correction again and again and again in a variety of ways. It never really occurred to me that in order to grasp the new information, I needed a new way to absorb it. So I didn’t absorb it, I just went back to the old me and the old ways while imitating the movements as I saw them. I wasted a lot of time this way.
If I were to start over, I would give a much larger part of my attention on how to absorb the information and look for a new way to learn. This may slow down the learning at first. It might feel like more time spent on something that feels peripheral to the main event. But it is actually taking time to find the key to discover what tai chi is all about.
I didn’t know that “how I approach anything is how I approach everything”. This can be a huge stumbling block when it comes to tai chi. It is also something that frustrates many students – consciously or unconsciously – and why so many quit tai chi before they ever get it to bloom. Whatever it is they wanted to get doesn’t come. Tai chi then feels like everything else, so why bother?
One reason we need a new way – and this will vary for each individual – is that tai chi itself is a new way of existence. The old you has limited access to a new way of existence. It’s that simple and that complex. It helps to take a moment and look at how you normally learn what you learn.
How fast do you feel you need to master this before you lose interest? Are you comfortable with not knowing? Do you feel your way into situations or think your way into situations? Do you take notes? Does military-like repetition feel best to you? Do you like to throw out all the rules and see what comes? Does sort of making yourself dead to discovery feel comforting? Are you afraid of actually learning something new? What holds you back from new experience or knowledge? Is your way the best way? Does discipline feel good to you or restraining to you? Can you take one step back to go two steps forward? Do you always need to be going straight forward?
All of these have value. All of these can be impediments.
What might you change? What would feel appropriate to an experiential exercise that offers a new way to inhabit your own skin? What needs to happen so that you do hear what your teacher is telling you?
I practice push hands with one individual from time to time and I have to note that he rarely makes any improvement. The conversation often comes down to how bad his push is and how bad my push is and how bad everyone’s push is and no one can really push well and once you have felt the push of some master you have to face the fact that we just can’t do it and to this day it is still a mystery and what the master has we simply don’t understand or don’t do....
Well now!
I don’t see how anyone can progress with this difficult process with such an elephant on their backs. The judgment and comparison is literally crippling. It robs him (and me) of any way of working on this challenging puzzle. His learning has to include learning to stop with the comparisons and judgment. This is how he approaches all of life: How you do anything is how you do everything. A result of all this is that he hasn’t made much progress. It’s the all or nothing approach to push hands. You either have it, or you don’t.
I spoke with a student of perhaps two years. A dancer, she had felt for some time that she hadn’t been getting much out of tai chi. Then she changed. A dancer likes technique and precision, preparing for performance with the ultimate purpose of being viewed by others. She decided to approach tai chi class without any goals and without any expectation. The result? She has found class to be totally exciting and she loves it. Tai chi is mostly about process, not result. It helps to align your learning mind in the direction of discovery.
To see ourselves from a distance with real honesty is a big task. It’s not a natural thing for us to do. We have to separate from ourselves and look with a microscope or a telescope to gain a different perspective on the issue. When is the last time you did this? Mostly we look out at the world through our rose colored glasses. It’s an “in-out” view with our conditioning getting in the way. Oddly, we have the capability to do the opposite which is what I’m suggesting. I don’t think we can live our lives from the “out-in” view, but we can stop for a moment here and there and see what we might see.
A new view could be a jolt of lightening. In fact, in addition to taking on a sort of universal distant (possibly objective) view of yourself, it may be helpful to take on a view of yourself from the perspective of someone else. That is, how does X, Y, or Z view me from their perspective? Take on their viewpoint, their conditioning, their assumptions and look at you as if you are them. See how they see. See what they see.
You might learn something new.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Tai Chi Chuan - Polishing the Stone
Maggie Newman had a few classes a few years ago that asked us to do a very vague yet specific “principle” while doing the form. Polish the stone!
Tai chi is an exercise where we are making ourselves more round and relaxed, more oval-ish and smooth. We are balancing our chi so the whole chi is full and round and soft. We were asked to do the form as if we are polishing our outer surface and making those rough edges and sharp corners smooth. It is as if we are a stone being prepared as a perfect gem. Make the chi smooth, make it glisten, make it round. You are the stone and you are the jeweler, polishing as you go along.
How? Well, therein lies the challenge. No one can tell you how.
Awareness, attentiveness to detail, relaxing, not being hard on yourself, softening the interior so that the exterior is also soft, pulling back where you are sticking out, filling up those areas that are too collapsed, melting away tension that impedes the fullness of the stone to appear, finding ways to hold this precious body in your hand as if it were a precious jewel. It is, after all, the most valuable thing you own. Take care of it.
There is only one way to approach this. Just do it. Explore, discover, play, try some more.
You are the stone, you are the polisher.
See what happens.
Tai chi is an exercise where we are making ourselves more round and relaxed, more oval-ish and smooth. We are balancing our chi so the whole chi is full and round and soft. We were asked to do the form as if we are polishing our outer surface and making those rough edges and sharp corners smooth. It is as if we are a stone being prepared as a perfect gem. Make the chi smooth, make it glisten, make it round. You are the stone and you are the jeweler, polishing as you go along.
How? Well, therein lies the challenge. No one can tell you how.
Awareness, attentiveness to detail, relaxing, not being hard on yourself, softening the interior so that the exterior is also soft, pulling back where you are sticking out, filling up those areas that are too collapsed, melting away tension that impedes the fullness of the stone to appear, finding ways to hold this precious body in your hand as if it were a precious jewel. It is, after all, the most valuable thing you own. Take care of it.
There is only one way to approach this. Just do it. Explore, discover, play, try some more.
You are the stone, you are the polisher.
See what happens.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Tai Chi and the Entrepreneur, Part 2
“As entrepreneurs, we move a thousand miles an hour, seven days a week and it is not good to move so quickly all the time. To practice Tai Chi, you have to slow things down. This translates to slowing things down and taking the time to breathe and concentrate in the business world which leads to better decisions and relationships.”
Ray Madronio, Entrepreneur
Founder and CEO, Local Bigwig LLC
Tai chi has many valuable lessons that can be applied to an entrepreneur’s skill. Let’s see how tai chi might help us out to create profitable businesses.
William Baumol, a New York University economics professor, defined an entrepreneur as the “the bold and imaginative deviator from established business patterns and practices” (2007). Howard Steveneson, a professor and Senior Associate Dean of Harvard Business School, defined entrepreneurship as the “pursuit of opportunity beyond the resources you currently control” (2006).
Tai chi is a completely experiential exercise. It is a series of relaxed, slow moving martial arts shapes that looks like a Chinese dance. Because it is not conceptual, the lessons learned are extracted from the principles of tai chi which create balance, relaxation and alignment. These express themselves organically in life. We become what we practice. My discussion here looks at what a tai chi practitioner experiences and then applies that potential to the work of entrepreneurship.
There are two essential exercises in tai chi. The first is the form itself. The second one is an exercise called “push-hands” where two individuals move in an interlocking pattern. The pattern affords each the opportunity to push the other one out. If you are attacked, you need to find a way to prevent yourself from getting pushed out. The real challenge here is to accomplish this without the use of force. You never get tense or hard, always remaining flexible and supple. This is a technical as well as a mental achievement.
Innovation. Some might not see “innovation” in tai chi. Innovation can be incremental, modular, architectural or disruptive. Tai chi is actually disruptive. That new idea is using relaxation and non-doing as the key to getting things done. The doer disappears into the action, and action becomes effortless effort. The product is a new body that functions along the lines of this new idea. As expressed in tai chi, this is not an idea at all. It is a way of dealing with the world. The subtle difference here is that tai chi teaches you to deal with the world on the world’s terms, not yours. By accommodating the world first, you have access to better solutions and ideas that would not be there if you dealt with the world on your terms. The needs are more apparent and creative thinking can evolve by this recognition. Once you see your innovation, the idea leads and the organization follows.
In order to see how tai chi can help the entrepreneur, I will oscillate between high level tai chi principles and how these relate to the needs of the entrepreneur and business. Warning: tai chi is a high level system used to achieve a simple result. In other words, it is so simple, it is hard to do. The gap between “idea” and “result” can be huge. You take a leap of faith in pursuing tai chi and only learn by doing. I would guess the same is true for entrepreneurial pursuit….
I asked a small business owner who has ventured into the world of restaurants and bars. Jean-Pierre began as a pastry chef and opened one business that lead to another that lead to another in New York City. To ground this discussion with a real world example, he practices tai chi regularly, despite a busy schedule involving his business ventures and a family life. Tai chi gives JP a sense of balance and centeredness that helps him in dealing with lawyers, accountants, NYC government officials, banks, fire department regulators, health department inspectors and the like. Each bears down on him with specific pressures. JP feels better equipped to handle them without reacting to them. This helps him to deal with many problems directly. Tai chi helps him to keep a clear head and to stick to his goals. He feels he has learned how to keep moving forward and not look back. The basic benefit of tai chi is better health and less stress. JP has both.
Stick and follow. OK, you may assume entrepreneurs lead and innovate and they do. But the best leaders know how and when to follow. With their nose to the ground, they hear what needs to be heard. They gather research, ideas and opinions. They are focused on what is going on now, and that only clarifies their ultimate vision. “Feel the pulse” may be another way to look at this. In tai chi, we stick and follow with a group of practitioners – our fellow partners – and become one unit, and we stick and follow with an individual partner in push-hands practice and become one unit. Rarely does success come from a vacuum.
Listen to your partner(s) and receive what you hear. This is a high priority in push-hands practice and any business venture. You need to know enough to discern the real from the false, the good from the bad, the useful from a time waster. But we welcome all information in order to make better judgments.
Total awareness. At any point in time during the tai chi form, we are also aware of where this moment is heading. NOW tells us about NEXT. The mind is aware of what is going on everywhere and has some vision of the future, where it wants the body to go. Your business has to attend to this step now, but this is to serve the movement of the whole enterprise to reach its end goal. While we don’t put the cart before the horse, we do direct that horse down the path to get to where we want to go. There is a path. Both ends of this equation are included in what is going on right now.
Here leads to there. Being here fully will give you a clearer sense of there. There is the end point, but it may be altered because of the information that you are getting from here. Neither place needs to be static. Just the opposite. Both are in relational motion and changing.
Commitment. A large component in learning tai chi is having enough commitment to get you through the rough spots. Tai chi is a slow process and the foundation in tai chi is a long term project. Those who try to rush it often quit or entirely miss the point. Knowing you are in for the long haul pays many many dividends. How long does it take your business to take hold? Most often, unless you have something that is really easy to execute, this takes a great deal of commitment. The director to the hit movie Precious hounded the author for the rights to the film for 9 years. Sylvester Stallone carted Rocky around to producers for years before it was accepted. Bill Mayer notes that a comedian hones his craft for years before success.
More work than you may think needed. In tai chi, as that article from Entrepreneur.com noted, the masters of tai chi give the basics a lot of time. In business, you may need to slow down from time to time to do the same. Business is a large and complex undertaking.
Adjusting as you go along. There are constant adjustments in going through the moment by moment process. You have a goal in mind, but mostly you are following the small steps needed to accomplish this goal. As you go along, you are very very attentive to the changes that are happening and carefully moderating your responses. You will change course a bit here or there, change speed, follow the lead of the group, hold back to get in sync with the group or business partner and so on. This serves the longer term goal of getting to where you want to go.
In tai chi, this statement is as clear as a bell. With enough attention, your business will be following the same principle. The modulations here imply the other principle of total awareness. You are in touch with your immediate need, but you are also aware of what others are doing at the same time. This is WHY you are making adjustments. Taking some time to slow down from time to time may be exactly what your process needs. It opens doors. You can see, feel, hear, know, understand and be more fully present to clarify your goals.
Don’t be “double weighted”. In tai chi, this means that your weight is never on BOTH feet at the same time. It always shifts from one foot to the other. The reason is simple. When you are on both feet, your hip joints are locked and you lose the ability to turn and be flexible. In business, you also need to be flexible. So those things that lock you into place could be seen as a double weighted position. You have to move, turn, rotate, alter plans, redirect goals, add needed functions, change, change, change as new information, economic drivers, social conditions and so forth change.
The mind and the center are working together. Tai chi emphasizes moving from your center, literally below the navel about a third the way into your body from the front. This is what physiology would call your “center of gravity”. The parts of the body, like the steps in creating a new product and getting it out on the market, have to move in sync with each other. They need to communicate with each other intimately so that everyone is working towards the same goal, through this center, with impeccable timing. Internal squabbling is wasted energy. Getting back on course makes the whole structure accomplish what needs to be done with much much less effort. In fact, the effort required is minimal when all the parts work together. That is an obvious statement, but how easily we forget it and are not aware of parts that are not functioning with the whole.
In tai chi, the central control of all of that is the mind. It observes and redirects the parts when it sees that those parts are not working together correctly. We are trying to eliminate wasting valuable time and energy that would better serve the whole by working in unison. The mind is creative and emotionally feeling and conceptually aware of what needs to happen in order to achieve success. In the best businesses and the best tai chi, the mind can disappear and join hands with the body (the workers, the building you work in, the computers and desks, etc.) and not be “directing” from above. It permeates all that is happening.
Another way to say this is that all the parts are reflecting the mind’s intent. In that way it lets go of control (but may have to reassert itself more visibly should conflict take over or redirection is needed.) The most successful enterprises are not really aware of the mind’s activities. The mind (business leaders, creator) should be more focused on the creative effort of where the body needs to go: the end product. The parts know what they have to do without being told. They know why they have to do it without being told. They know how their activity fits into the larger picture of the organization.
I am not suggesting this is an automatic event. We study tai chi to realize these goals. This is a highly skilled balancing act of physical and mental coordination. I know of one entrepreneur who tells me that he takes a great deal of care when hiring new employees. The right fit with the organization is a high priority. Obviously it is easier to take time to establish working principles early in the process. This way, each employee knows intimately what needs to be done without constant external guidance. I think if more businesses took the time to have this level of internal understanding in place early on, they would have greater success later on. The skill of the entrepreneur plays a key role in defining the parameters of the business, how it functions, and how it can grow.
This is more than aligning strengths to the tasks at hand. This is aligning strengths to the goal (innovator’s dream, business leader’s ultimate targets.)
Tai chi is very efficient in its use of effort. It is interesting to read Carl Roger’s book on A Way of Being. Early on, his group process is NOT efficient or easy. But it results in a group of people that can buy into a large idea. It unifies, creates purpose and creates satisfaction. The messy work of human collaboration takes place early on. It reminds me of the confusion that most tai chi students experience at the beginning of their study. Once that is over, tai chi creates vitality and order.
An entrepreneur can do the same.
Ray Madronio, Entrepreneur
Founder and CEO, Local Bigwig LLC
Tai chi has many valuable lessons that can be applied to an entrepreneur’s skill. Let’s see how tai chi might help us out to create profitable businesses.
William Baumol, a New York University economics professor, defined an entrepreneur as the “the bold and imaginative deviator from established business patterns and practices” (2007). Howard Steveneson, a professor and Senior Associate Dean of Harvard Business School, defined entrepreneurship as the “pursuit of opportunity beyond the resources you currently control” (2006).
Tai chi is a completely experiential exercise. It is a series of relaxed, slow moving martial arts shapes that looks like a Chinese dance. Because it is not conceptual, the lessons learned are extracted from the principles of tai chi which create balance, relaxation and alignment. These express themselves organically in life. We become what we practice. My discussion here looks at what a tai chi practitioner experiences and then applies that potential to the work of entrepreneurship.
There are two essential exercises in tai chi. The first is the form itself. The second one is an exercise called “push-hands” where two individuals move in an interlocking pattern. The pattern affords each the opportunity to push the other one out. If you are attacked, you need to find a way to prevent yourself from getting pushed out. The real challenge here is to accomplish this without the use of force. You never get tense or hard, always remaining flexible and supple. This is a technical as well as a mental achievement.
Innovation. Some might not see “innovation” in tai chi. Innovation can be incremental, modular, architectural or disruptive. Tai chi is actually disruptive. That new idea is using relaxation and non-doing as the key to getting things done. The doer disappears into the action, and action becomes effortless effort. The product is a new body that functions along the lines of this new idea. As expressed in tai chi, this is not an idea at all. It is a way of dealing with the world. The subtle difference here is that tai chi teaches you to deal with the world on the world’s terms, not yours. By accommodating the world first, you have access to better solutions and ideas that would not be there if you dealt with the world on your terms. The needs are more apparent and creative thinking can evolve by this recognition. Once you see your innovation, the idea leads and the organization follows.
In order to see how tai chi can help the entrepreneur, I will oscillate between high level tai chi principles and how these relate to the needs of the entrepreneur and business. Warning: tai chi is a high level system used to achieve a simple result. In other words, it is so simple, it is hard to do. The gap between “idea” and “result” can be huge. You take a leap of faith in pursuing tai chi and only learn by doing. I would guess the same is true for entrepreneurial pursuit….
I asked a small business owner who has ventured into the world of restaurants and bars. Jean-Pierre began as a pastry chef and opened one business that lead to another that lead to another in New York City. To ground this discussion with a real world example, he practices tai chi regularly, despite a busy schedule involving his business ventures and a family life. Tai chi gives JP a sense of balance and centeredness that helps him in dealing with lawyers, accountants, NYC government officials, banks, fire department regulators, health department inspectors and the like. Each bears down on him with specific pressures. JP feels better equipped to handle them without reacting to them. This helps him to deal with many problems directly. Tai chi helps him to keep a clear head and to stick to his goals. He feels he has learned how to keep moving forward and not look back. The basic benefit of tai chi is better health and less stress. JP has both.
Stick and follow. OK, you may assume entrepreneurs lead and innovate and they do. But the best leaders know how and when to follow. With their nose to the ground, they hear what needs to be heard. They gather research, ideas and opinions. They are focused on what is going on now, and that only clarifies their ultimate vision. “Feel the pulse” may be another way to look at this. In tai chi, we stick and follow with a group of practitioners – our fellow partners – and become one unit, and we stick and follow with an individual partner in push-hands practice and become one unit. Rarely does success come from a vacuum.
Listen to your partner(s) and receive what you hear. This is a high priority in push-hands practice and any business venture. You need to know enough to discern the real from the false, the good from the bad, the useful from a time waster. But we welcome all information in order to make better judgments.
Total awareness. At any point in time during the tai chi form, we are also aware of where this moment is heading. NOW tells us about NEXT. The mind is aware of what is going on everywhere and has some vision of the future, where it wants the body to go. Your business has to attend to this step now, but this is to serve the movement of the whole enterprise to reach its end goal. While we don’t put the cart before the horse, we do direct that horse down the path to get to where we want to go. There is a path. Both ends of this equation are included in what is going on right now.
Here leads to there. Being here fully will give you a clearer sense of there. There is the end point, but it may be altered because of the information that you are getting from here. Neither place needs to be static. Just the opposite. Both are in relational motion and changing.
Commitment. A large component in learning tai chi is having enough commitment to get you through the rough spots. Tai chi is a slow process and the foundation in tai chi is a long term project. Those who try to rush it often quit or entirely miss the point. Knowing you are in for the long haul pays many many dividends. How long does it take your business to take hold? Most often, unless you have something that is really easy to execute, this takes a great deal of commitment. The director to the hit movie Precious hounded the author for the rights to the film for 9 years. Sylvester Stallone carted Rocky around to producers for years before it was accepted. Bill Mayer notes that a comedian hones his craft for years before success.
More work than you may think needed. In tai chi, as that article from Entrepreneur.com noted, the masters of tai chi give the basics a lot of time. In business, you may need to slow down from time to time to do the same. Business is a large and complex undertaking.
Adjusting as you go along. There are constant adjustments in going through the moment by moment process. You have a goal in mind, but mostly you are following the small steps needed to accomplish this goal. As you go along, you are very very attentive to the changes that are happening and carefully moderating your responses. You will change course a bit here or there, change speed, follow the lead of the group, hold back to get in sync with the group or business partner and so on. This serves the longer term goal of getting to where you want to go.
In tai chi, this statement is as clear as a bell. With enough attention, your business will be following the same principle. The modulations here imply the other principle of total awareness. You are in touch with your immediate need, but you are also aware of what others are doing at the same time. This is WHY you are making adjustments. Taking some time to slow down from time to time may be exactly what your process needs. It opens doors. You can see, feel, hear, know, understand and be more fully present to clarify your goals.
Don’t be “double weighted”. In tai chi, this means that your weight is never on BOTH feet at the same time. It always shifts from one foot to the other. The reason is simple. When you are on both feet, your hip joints are locked and you lose the ability to turn and be flexible. In business, you also need to be flexible. So those things that lock you into place could be seen as a double weighted position. You have to move, turn, rotate, alter plans, redirect goals, add needed functions, change, change, change as new information, economic drivers, social conditions and so forth change.
The mind and the center are working together. Tai chi emphasizes moving from your center, literally below the navel about a third the way into your body from the front. This is what physiology would call your “center of gravity”. The parts of the body, like the steps in creating a new product and getting it out on the market, have to move in sync with each other. They need to communicate with each other intimately so that everyone is working towards the same goal, through this center, with impeccable timing. Internal squabbling is wasted energy. Getting back on course makes the whole structure accomplish what needs to be done with much much less effort. In fact, the effort required is minimal when all the parts work together. That is an obvious statement, but how easily we forget it and are not aware of parts that are not functioning with the whole.
In tai chi, the central control of all of that is the mind. It observes and redirects the parts when it sees that those parts are not working together correctly. We are trying to eliminate wasting valuable time and energy that would better serve the whole by working in unison. The mind is creative and emotionally feeling and conceptually aware of what needs to happen in order to achieve success. In the best businesses and the best tai chi, the mind can disappear and join hands with the body (the workers, the building you work in, the computers and desks, etc.) and not be “directing” from above. It permeates all that is happening.
Another way to say this is that all the parts are reflecting the mind’s intent. In that way it lets go of control (but may have to reassert itself more visibly should conflict take over or redirection is needed.) The most successful enterprises are not really aware of the mind’s activities. The mind (business leaders, creator) should be more focused on the creative effort of where the body needs to go: the end product. The parts know what they have to do without being told. They know why they have to do it without being told. They know how their activity fits into the larger picture of the organization.
I am not suggesting this is an automatic event. We study tai chi to realize these goals. This is a highly skilled balancing act of physical and mental coordination. I know of one entrepreneur who tells me that he takes a great deal of care when hiring new employees. The right fit with the organization is a high priority. Obviously it is easier to take time to establish working principles early in the process. This way, each employee knows intimately what needs to be done without constant external guidance. I think if more businesses took the time to have this level of internal understanding in place early on, they would have greater success later on. The skill of the entrepreneur plays a key role in defining the parameters of the business, how it functions, and how it can grow.
This is more than aligning strengths to the tasks at hand. This is aligning strengths to the goal (innovator’s dream, business leader’s ultimate targets.)
Tai chi is very efficient in its use of effort. It is interesting to read Carl Roger’s book on A Way of Being. Early on, his group process is NOT efficient or easy. But it results in a group of people that can buy into a large idea. It unifies, creates purpose and creates satisfaction. The messy work of human collaboration takes place early on. It reminds me of the confusion that most tai chi students experience at the beginning of their study. Once that is over, tai chi creates vitality and order.
An entrepreneur can do the same.
Tai Chi Bloggin' - What 4?
OK, I know of some tai chi-ers who would never ever want to read any of these blogs, or any other tai chi blog. It’s an experiential thing and words just don’t cut it. Tai chi is not verbal. I basically agree with that assumption. It’s all in the doing.
In general, in life, I love to argue and be right. Convincing you of my rightness is great fun. But in tai chi, especially with this blog, I’m not really interested in being right or being wrong. I’m not interested in pitting my opinion against your opinion, as if the holder of the best opinion makes you better somehow, or me less somehow. I basically assume many statements today will be altered tomorrow. This is but a moment’s observation that I’m enjoying.
How often are conversations a battle of words? “I think/feel the sky is blue.” “Well I see/feel the sky as red.” And it ends right there. We agree to disagree. I have my opinion. You have yours. No one died, but this is not so interesting is it?
Another verbal game is the battle of the info-maniacs. The person with more information and data is the winner here. This is a bit better I think because at least you learn something factual. Perhaps. Facts are always clothed in context and context can be harder to express or even hard to see in many cases. I have looked at various narratives, personal and not personal, only to see it later in a completely different light. My contextual awareness changed and I was forced to arrive at a different conclusion. In the battle of the facts, you may be ignoring emotions aroused in yourself or the other person. (Self recognition pains me here!)
By expressing my tai chi opinions, I want you to explore better approaches or new attitudes in practicing tai chi. They can be my ideas, or they can be completely different ideas. Perhaps my idea has sparked yours. New views lead to new things to try in tai chi practice.
You may think my idea is all wrong. Some would end the conversation right then and there and feel some sort of satisfaction. Nope, this is not the point. I’d hope your next step is to discover what you think you should be doing and then go out and prove your point by practicing it. Tai chi, in part, is about moving forward. I hope my words stimulate some action, or a change in the way you work with others. I want them to be tested in your body, not rejected in your mind. Or even accepted in your mind. Prove it in your body. Or disprove it in your body. Explore, discover, verify.
Then we have something to offer each other when we share our words and experience. And so it goes.
That’s my idea of play.
In general, in life, I love to argue and be right. Convincing you of my rightness is great fun. But in tai chi, especially with this blog, I’m not really interested in being right or being wrong. I’m not interested in pitting my opinion against your opinion, as if the holder of the best opinion makes you better somehow, or me less somehow. I basically assume many statements today will be altered tomorrow. This is but a moment’s observation that I’m enjoying.
How often are conversations a battle of words? “I think/feel the sky is blue.” “Well I see/feel the sky as red.” And it ends right there. We agree to disagree. I have my opinion. You have yours. No one died, but this is not so interesting is it?
Another verbal game is the battle of the info-maniacs. The person with more information and data is the winner here. This is a bit better I think because at least you learn something factual. Perhaps. Facts are always clothed in context and context can be harder to express or even hard to see in many cases. I have looked at various narratives, personal and not personal, only to see it later in a completely different light. My contextual awareness changed and I was forced to arrive at a different conclusion. In the battle of the facts, you may be ignoring emotions aroused in yourself or the other person. (Self recognition pains me here!)
By expressing my tai chi opinions, I want you to explore better approaches or new attitudes in practicing tai chi. They can be my ideas, or they can be completely different ideas. Perhaps my idea has sparked yours. New views lead to new things to try in tai chi practice.
You may think my idea is all wrong. Some would end the conversation right then and there and feel some sort of satisfaction. Nope, this is not the point. I’d hope your next step is to discover what you think you should be doing and then go out and prove your point by practicing it. Tai chi, in part, is about moving forward. I hope my words stimulate some action, or a change in the way you work with others. I want them to be tested in your body, not rejected in your mind. Or even accepted in your mind. Prove it in your body. Or disprove it in your body. Explore, discover, verify.
Then we have something to offer each other when we share our words and experience. And so it goes.
That’s my idea of play.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Tai Chi Chuan - Perpetual Doubt Syndrome?
It’s hard to say it, but if you want to progress, you have to stop once in a while and doubt yourself. To look at this another way, I read a study once on people who never doubt themselves. Sounds good on paper because we equate not doubting ourselves with self confidence and that is generally considered to be a good thing. But the result of the study is that those who never doubt themselves make more mistakes than those with less self confidence (or less delusion depending on how you choose to look at it.) Surprised?
Oh no! you say, that makes perfect sense! Yes, it makes perfect sense except when the doubting comes from YOU. It doesn’t feel good. Knowing feels good and that’s the problem.
In tai chi, you need to be open to many new ideas. And then you have to be open to revisiting all those new ideas. Setting aside those of you who are geniuses and really have this tai chi thing down, to be open to new information is akin to admitting that there may be more to learn here than you first thought.
Maybe the whole principle wasn’t digested as fully as it can be. Maybe you even misunderstood the instruction the first time around. Perhaps you did understand the instruction the first time around, but that instruction was only 30% of the picture. Maybe the instruction works half of the time, but other situations require a different piece of instruction. Maybe (in your zeal to do it right) you are simply doing it wrong. Are you sure you have it right? Absolutely sure? How do you know you are right? Are you aware that habits feel good?
In tai chi, I think it is safe to say that today’s solution could be tomorrow’s problem. Whatever seems true needs to be balanced by the opposite of that truth. Yes, relax. But don’t collapse. Be upright, but not rigid, and so forth. That is why it is necessary to keep being open to a new, better, more satisfying solution or answer to the “challenge” tai chi perpetually presents. That challenge is wholeness. Being seamless. Finding comfort while discovering alertness. Balance.
After all, it can always be better. If it can always be better, then it is wise to assume that something you are doing is either wrong, or incomplete, or too shallowly experienced, not fully expressed.
So how do you proceed with an attitude of doubt, yet continue to want to practice or even enjoy practice? I think the answer is to simply enjoy practicing at whatever level you experience tai chi, and enjoy the possibility that this can even be more satisfying. If you take that positive approach, doubt is not depressing or an expression of low self esteem or low self worth. Doubt is simply a door to open to an even better understanding, that is, a better experience than the one you have. It can always feel better.
The other approach is craving that you have the final solution. A closed door in tai chi! Craving the final solution is basically a hidden desire to be king, a master, the one who wins, the emperor. Your ego.
Sure, it is fun to win in push-hands, or have someone compliment your form work. But that moment of ego will hopefully pass. It won’t give you an even more satisfying solution or process that leads to a better experience. It leads to nowhere.
Even the masters want more.
Oh no! you say, that makes perfect sense! Yes, it makes perfect sense except when the doubting comes from YOU. It doesn’t feel good. Knowing feels good and that’s the problem.
In tai chi, you need to be open to many new ideas. And then you have to be open to revisiting all those new ideas. Setting aside those of you who are geniuses and really have this tai chi thing down, to be open to new information is akin to admitting that there may be more to learn here than you first thought.
Maybe the whole principle wasn’t digested as fully as it can be. Maybe you even misunderstood the instruction the first time around. Perhaps you did understand the instruction the first time around, but that instruction was only 30% of the picture. Maybe the instruction works half of the time, but other situations require a different piece of instruction. Maybe (in your zeal to do it right) you are simply doing it wrong. Are you sure you have it right? Absolutely sure? How do you know you are right? Are you aware that habits feel good?
In tai chi, I think it is safe to say that today’s solution could be tomorrow’s problem. Whatever seems true needs to be balanced by the opposite of that truth. Yes, relax. But don’t collapse. Be upright, but not rigid, and so forth. That is why it is necessary to keep being open to a new, better, more satisfying solution or answer to the “challenge” tai chi perpetually presents. That challenge is wholeness. Being seamless. Finding comfort while discovering alertness. Balance.
After all, it can always be better. If it can always be better, then it is wise to assume that something you are doing is either wrong, or incomplete, or too shallowly experienced, not fully expressed.
So how do you proceed with an attitude of doubt, yet continue to want to practice or even enjoy practice? I think the answer is to simply enjoy practicing at whatever level you experience tai chi, and enjoy the possibility that this can even be more satisfying. If you take that positive approach, doubt is not depressing or an expression of low self esteem or low self worth. Doubt is simply a door to open to an even better understanding, that is, a better experience than the one you have. It can always feel better.
The other approach is craving that you have the final solution. A closed door in tai chi! Craving the final solution is basically a hidden desire to be king, a master, the one who wins, the emperor. Your ego.
Sure, it is fun to win in push-hands, or have someone compliment your form work. But that moment of ego will hopefully pass. It won’t give you an even more satisfying solution or process that leads to a better experience. It leads to nowhere.
Even the masters want more.
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