Tai
Chi Chuan and What You Need to Leave Behind
I
am reminded that when we first attend tai chi class, we come as we are. Sometimes that’s good, but mostly we need to
adjust and that implies change. Some
students don’t see it and they quit quickly.
After all, they arrived at tai chi in order to get something, like
shopping at Barnes and Noble. When class
doesn’t go the way they wanted it to go, they think they have arrived at the
wrong class. One might agree, but I
would say students need to take a hard look at what they want and how they
interact in class.
Tai
chi is about change and sometimes that includes your attendance style in tai
chi class. I have one funny memory of
correcting a student on her first class.
Her thumb stuck out. When I tried
to correct it, she told me that it was relaxed and this is the way her thumb is
when it is relaxed. I smirked a bit and
said, “Have it your way.” She never
returned. I most likely should have
not corrected her at all. She wasn’t
ready for it. I shouldn’t have been so snide.
I learned something, but I suspect she
did not.
A
very good student could not remember the postures and therefore could not
practice at home. She clearly stated
that she wanted to be “in the moment”. I
clearly stated that she should just focus on memorization of the postures. Time went on and she quit. “In the moment” was not what was needed. (That’s a much later development. It happens and you don’t have to work for
it.)
Another
student in following along with the 18 therapies decided, between each of these
movements he would press his body into the ground by roughly bouncing up and
down as if he was pushing himself into the ground. His intention was to root himself in the
ground and clearly this had come from some other practice. But that was not what I was doing or trying
to accomplish. I momentarily lost it and
snapped, “Don’t do that!!” He never
returned.
I
shouldn’t have been so curt. I learned
something, but I suspect he did not.
I’ve
had to learn to leave things behind as well.
One
student was disappointed because there were so many students in the class, so
she quit.
Another
was afraid because the class was too large for the space and his feelings of
claustrophobia got in the way. He quit.
I
am amused by those that really want to “discuss” tai chi in class. Mostly that goes nowhere, unless it is the
teacher talking to convey a concept or answer a specific question from a
student. Most of the rest of conversation
is fruitless, but I would be hard pressed to convince those that rely on
conversation to think differently.
I
am not against some intellectualization of tai chi (note this blog). That can feed understanding and inspire
practice. But for some, it basically
ends there. They never really begin to
practice.
“Words
don’t cook the rice,” my teacher, Maggie Newman, often reminds us.
I
would add, “Be here now! Pay attention!”
(I can be shrill.)
I
spoke to a student who was attending class and asked if she was practicing
regularly. She wasn’t. I challenged her to practice EVERY DAY, twice
a day, for two weeks, claiming she would notice a difference. After two weeks, I asked her if she noted a
difference. She replied that she does it
a bit faster at home, but that the way we just did it in class, it was
“Amazing!” Something clicked. Her
practice hit home in class that day.
The
more advanced students rarely say much.
They mostly listen attentively or ask a single and pertinent question. They watch carefully.
I
spoke with a very honest yoga teacher once.
He told me what he is offering his students is some sort of
fantasy. Each student brings that
fantasy in with them. I’m sure this
teacher understands the real value of yoga and he most likely is a good
teacher. But that doesn’t change how a
student interacts with the information at hand.
I respected his honesty.
Tai
chi class is a new relationship with its own dynamics. By that I mean a new relationship to learning
itself. I don’t want to stop a student
from being who they are. I want them to
utilize the time so that they maximally gain benefit. But we all come through that door thinking we
know what that is. It ain’t necessarily
so!
I
haven’t been involved in politics, but I sort of envision a political meeting
where one is bringing who you are into the meeting and this has real
benefit. In tai chi class, you have to
be more artful, more discerning. Not all
of you will help you get the most out of class.
Parts of you will.
I
am reminded of a student who finally gave up all expectations and suddenly the
class became very interesting, satisfying and more beneficial. She is hooked and attends as many classes as
she can. Odd, isn’t it?
I
treasure tai chi class as a special period of time to focus and let go. It is unusual in its demands and satisfying
when you get in sync with those demands.
Where else are we asked to feel our physical space (internally and
externally) so intently? By doing so,
the value appears. Preoccupation with
who YOU are and what YOU want brings the process to a grinding halt.
It’s
not wrong to have a fantasy when you join a class. Or a goal.
Just be clear with yourself about what that is and then give yourself
over to the teacher’s approach, whatever that may be.
Over
time, what you want may change. And
that might be a lesson you’ve been waiting for.
