Tai Chi Chuan – Doing It Your Way?
I have run into a pattern in students. Many of them
really think they know what they need in order to learn tai chi. What exercises “work”, what type of exercise,
how the class should go, what mix of instruction works and so forth. They decide a certain exercise is a waste of
time, but another one is invaluable. If they
find another one confusing or difficult, no need to waste any time on it. Best
to get back to their comfort zone and do it their way.
It’s sad to say but the best thing to do is pay attention
and try to do your best, regardless of the exercise. Yep, it is that simple and
that difficult.
Don’t decide what is good and not good, right and wrong,
helpful or not helpful. It is stunning that some students approach class as if
they KNOW what they need. If the exercise is deemed unworthy (too simple, not
really about tai chi, too difficult) they pass it by. Not only do they pass up an opportunity to
try something new or challenging, but they pass by a possibility of LEARNING
something NEW. It is BECAUSE it is hard,
or simple, or seemingly not what they think it should be that it may have
tremendous value. And you will never know unless you put your heart and soul
into it, in this moment. And even if the moment fails you, that success doesn’t
happen NOW, it may come back to enlighten you another time. There is no wasted time in keeping at it in
tai chi class.
The only wasted time is when you have decided that you
don’t have to work at this moment, this exercise, this movement, that you don’t
have to pay attention, or work at it.
I have been guilty of the same. Maggie would have us do something over and
over and over and yes, sometimes I’d think “what a waste of time.” But I did it anyway, as best I could. Then a few days later a light bulb would go
off, and WOW, I get what that was all about.
And I learned something new.
I have to admit, my behavior at times was not helpful in
class. I went through a period as
Maggie’s assistant that I felt I had heard her words so many times that I
didn’t need to listen any more. So I would go to the side of the class and
start to talk to someone about something else. Maggie noticed. But for some reason, she never called me on
it. Why, I really don’t know. It finally dawned on me that just being still and
listening to her thoughts one more time was less disruptive to her, and a new
discipline that I needed to conquer. You never know how the lesson might strike
you on repeat # 134. You just don’t know…
It’s what you don’t want to do that often gives you the
greatest lesson. This mindlessly simple
exercise may hold the key. This
confusing sequence may ultimately build that muscle of concentration merely by
keeping at it.
It is rarely easy this thing called tai chi. It is rarely simple. And often what we don’t like is what we
really need.
And the oddity of all this is that a student is in class
to learn. Since when is learning about
what you already know or feel good about? It’s the challenge in facing what you
don’t know that truly makes you grow. It’s not whether the result you want
emerges, it’s all about the effort you put into it. That’s tai chi!
I often tell students that even bad practice is good
practice. Why? Because the effort to
engage with something difficult will always pay off. No one begins tai chi
“getting it”. Most of us flounder and
sometimes flounder for years before something clicks.
Essentially, I am talking about resistance. In many
forms. Resistance can be an insistence that this exercise doesn’t help, won’t
work, it is useless, it is not entertaining, it is physically too demanding, I
don’t have a natural skill set working for me here, my physical limitations
prevent me from learning this, and so forth.
In tai chi, we are working on letting resistance go. And
sometimes the only way to do that is to get even more involved in the task at
hand: not involving yourself in the belief that you KNOW this isn’t going to
help before you stick with it and see what happens.
Look, I have Irish genes.
We are famous for being stubborn. Resistance is practically my middle
name! Why do you think we are called the “Fighting Irish”?
I recall a very good student saying that once she gave up
trying to “get it”, class time opened up and was far more gratifying and
valuable. The resistance? It was
thinking that if you don’t “get” something, you are wasting your time.
One way to “get” but not try to get is to just “be” with
the exercise. Let it do YOU. Follow without effort or desire for result.
This is more than just “go along to get along”. It’s more
along the lines of you have to “be in it to win it.” (Can you tell I like
Hallmark cards?)
There will always be challenges that elude you. And a
life full of constant effort is not a good way to live. We do need our comfort
time. It’s important. But keep in mind that in a tai chi class, you also need a
patient determination and trust that your efforts will help.
Do you know how some people feel when they don’t resist?
They feel like they don’t exist.
Our tendency to resist is so deep, hard to see, hard to
overcome. It can feel like life itself.
Others find freedom when they don’t resist.
